Mother’s Day is indeed a day to reckon with when as a woman one is faced with the challenge of infertility. The day happens to be the day of celebration with flowers, cards, and brunch and family get-togethers yet it is also a day to think about one’s family. It is the day to treasure relationships be it with one’s spouse or child. For women with an infertility diagnosis, this day holiday can indeed make them feel a lot of pain and isolation.
It is good to plan in advance for Mother’s Day and other holidays that do focus on children or parenthood. It is good to know beforehand what sort of manner one will spend the day. After all one has to go through the day. For a childless couple, it is a tremendous moment of intense negative feeling hoping to be a mother or father some day. One needs to prepare well in advance.
On Mother’s day, a childless woman or one who is facing infertility issues needs to overcome negative emotions and also try to maintain a positive outlook towards life.
The day must be handled less painfully. One needs to entertain healthy thoughts and feel guilty about not participating in family events. One needs to cope up with the day.
If one does not feel being part of the celebrations then one can decline an invitation that involves celebrating Mother’s Day. In this manner, one can avoid awkward questions as to when one is planning to have a child and so forth. Or it will be one’s turn to be a mother or father. Such comments can be hurtful.
Mother’s Day often means getting together with one’s family members in order to celebrate their motherhood. It is a difficult time for a woman who is trying hard to have a baby but has not been successful at it.
On such occasions, one can reach out to loved ones or send them a card, bouquet of flowers or give a lavish brunch. Mother’s Day is a good time to reach out to others and this includes other women who are also challenged by infertility or the loss of a child. Helping others not only makes us feel better, but it can also help distract from our own difficulties.
One can relax with an interesting activity or spend precious time with one’s family. One can go to a movie, take a hike, or have a great meal. It is nice for a weekend getaway with one’s partner or spouse in order to relax, play tourist and be far enough away from Mother’s Day celebrations.
One can be involved in activities that get rid of emotional stress caused on the feeling of being infertile, such as exercise, messaging with a support group, writing in one’s journal or talking to someone supportive who may be facing the same issues.
One needs to take of attention from oneself by planning a brunch and inviting which can temporarily distract one from one’s sadness at not being a parent.
A Mother’s Day can also mean one can discuss one’s mother’s reproductive history. As one is aware genetics do play a role in the likelihood of developing several infertility-related conditions that include endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), repeated miscarriages and premature ovarian failure or even early menopause.
It is interesting to know at what age one’s mother has had children, how long it took for her to get pregnant, whether she had painful periods or a history of miscarriages etc. This way one understands infertility issues better.
One needs to avoid self-pity and practice self-compassion and empathy turned inwardly. One must not at the same time ignore one’s feelings. Infertility is no doubt a major life crisis. One must not feel one is alone on the road to struggle against infertility.